The Cheap Toy Doll

So, this week has been a bit of a whirlwind. Morg and I were totally mentally exhausted by the end of it! We almost bought another house - though in the end we knew it wasn't the right decision. Our friends were selling their 4 bedroom home that backs onto a canal, just a few blocks from us. It was beautiful, with hardwood and dark stained cabinets, stainless steel appliances, a mudroom, a deck, fenced, partially finished basement. It was perfect. We thought we could keep our townhome and rent it out as an investment. It all sounded ideal - we were financially approved for this plan with our mortgage broker, and in the end we would sell the townhome and cash in on our equity! Perfect. But all week something just didn't feel right. We knew we'de have to live REALLY tightly in the new house - as in hardly ANY money for anything other than food, mortgage and bills! We thought and thought and thought ALL week about it, but something just didn't feel right about it. We went through every possible scenario, including selling our townhome (which involved me acting on a whim, running over to my renting neighbours' house who are currently looking to buy something and offering them our home for a"good deal" - in hindsight that might have seemed SLIGHTLY desperate and strange....) or renting it out until we would try to sell it next spring, or renting it out indefinately. We thought about me taking on a couple kids part time doing day care to make things a bit more comfortable. We thought about me looking for a different part time job that would only take a few hours a week just to bring in a bit extra cash. Every morning for over a week, Morg and I woke up feeling like we needed to buy the house and that it was such a great investment - though by the end of the day we weren't comfortable with the idea anymore. If we could just live really tightly for a couple years, if we could always count on having renters in the townhome, and if we could guarantee that the Calgary housing market wasn't going to take any further hits, it would be the perfect plan - but we couldn't trust that any or all of these conditions were possible, so in the end I had to make the dreaded phone call to our friends and tell them that we couldn't buy their house. A day or two later the house ended up selling and Morgan said it was a relief almost since we didn't have to think about it anymore. The thought of buying this house had consumed our lives for a week. Morgan said at one point: "This is the hardest decision we've ever had to make. Getting married? Not hard. Having kids? Not hard. Picking up and moving to Calgary? Not hard. But buying this house - I have no idea." So since our decision, we've been thinking a lot about how much we appreciate our humble 1100 square foot home. It is our HOME. We already have so many memories in it. Morgan works four days on, four days off, so we get to spend loads of time together and so having a small day care, even if only one of two days a week, would take away from our family time together. So, in the end, we realized we will move when we feel comfortable and excited (not worried) to do so! Where does the cheap toy doll come in, you might ask? During this whole thought process - I often looked at our kids and felt a bit sad. I felt like I was being ungrateful for the things we have. I would watch Elizabeth play and talk to herself and her toys and I would think about how little it takes to make her happy. I would get really annoyed at myself for letting this whole "bigger house" idea consume my life, when I had two beautiful kids who were ready to play and have fun right NOW. One day Elizabeth was playing with a really cheap, tiny doll that came from a little princess set from the dollar store. She played with it ALL day. She washed her in the sink, she bathed her in a bowl of water, she brought her to bed with her. It was probably the smallest, most boring and ugly little doll that she owns, but she was thrilled with it!!! I just reminded me that we don't necessarily need a whole lot in our lives, as long as we appreicate what we do have. So this is my corny blog post to look back on and remember how much we've been blessed with! This is a picture of Elizabeth's doll. I took it next to her lamp to give a perspective of how teeny it is. A close up - the paint is chipping off her face.

Doll getting a shower.